OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
