areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
