Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
