Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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