thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
