Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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