so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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