Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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