Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize