the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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