I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
