I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
