I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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