From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
