dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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