You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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