who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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