I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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