Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
