come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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