I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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