The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh god it's open bar.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
