apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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