My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
