So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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