do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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