I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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