You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
