I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize