I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
