Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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