So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
