Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
