I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
