I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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