I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
