who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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