rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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