i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
