Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
