it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize