is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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