Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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