so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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