I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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