she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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