Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
