dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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