I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
