I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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