I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
