I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's just like the Real World with babies
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
