I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
